4 for 4. Or is it 5 for 5? And then some added bonus findings.
Car accident of 2017 my 1st concern was my head. A possible concussion had me concerned. The first doctor I saw dismissed this concern with, "we don't do anything for concussion anyway." He did not test for it.
Shoulder and left arm were x-rayed and found okay... So I suppose that may change it to 5 out of 6, because it hurt so bad I was certain something was broken... It was the only test ordered by a doctor to look inside immediately following the accident.
The next test that looked inside was ordered shortly after the car accident by a chiropractor. He wanted to see the neck. MRI showed injury in the form of a hairline fracture in a vertebrae in the neck. Chiropractor is also the one who picked up on the concussion. At least they were concerned.
Next was the ENT doctor, a few months after the accident. He ordered a CT scan because I kept getting sinus infections after the accident and my nose was runny a lot. That showed abnormalities but nothing in the sinuses that seemed to be accident related. I'd knock my average down on this because I was certain there was something wrong from the car accident that was causing these problems, but keep following and you will see why I'm still batting 5 of 6.
The next look inside was the ankle. It had been bugging me since the accident. 14 months after, when my head was starting to improve, I wondered why the heck I had not had the ankle looked at. It was only getting worse so I went to the orthopedic doctor. MRI; it needed surgery. Had it been caught when the injury had been sustained then it is possible surgery could have been avoided. This much later? No. But still 3 surgeons and a PA all impressed by my stability and strength considering the extent of the injury; especially once they got inside.
Ankle turning out to not be nothing coincided with the questionable #5 injury. Mania. Was that due to injury of car accident or insult of neuropsychologist? Not sure, but certainly mania and not so much a transference- countertransference issue. That would have resolved much quicker and easier and would have followed a much more linear path of healing.. (or maybe not. That relationship is intense. Others I know have also been significantly injured by the mishandling of countertransference.) But mania, was a definite yes and I was right about it... Too bad I, like they, really did not want that to be what it was. Too bad they are governed more by their fear and/or egos than by honesty, integrity, medical knowledge, and logic.
After ankle and knowing I was broken more than was previously thought -something I had tried to tell many doctors already but was shy and timid, not assertive, when they failed to listen- I decide to have the 2 other things that had been bothering me looked into: my hip and my wrist.
The hip doctor decided to take the conservative approach and it was hypothesized the discomfort there was linked to my gate being off from the ankle. Which turned out not to be the case. But then it was supposed that it was the back and not the hip... Which turned out it was the back; MRI showed a bulging disk. Another injury I had not even thought to mention because I was associating the back pain and troubles to the hip. Physical therapy helped the back.
But not the hip.
Back to MRI and, yep the hip was also injured. Progressed or lit up by car accident, that much I know because prior to the car accident it had never bothered me. Not once. This injury has taken the longest to find, because we were being conservative in an effort to avoid chalking up unnecessary expenses... which, in reality, turned out to be chalking up a lot of unnecessary expenses and wasted time. I go in for surgery next week. This should prevent a full hip replacement down the road.
So ankle, hip, back, mania, all initially missed... oh and the wrist.
Orthopedic found nothing wrong with the wrist. But there was clearly a tremor. "You might want to see a neurologist about it" says he. And Dr. Reddy, she suggests that too, but fails to refer and of course I want to believe that this means it is nothing.
...but I know better... deep inside I know better. I had the whole time.
Finally, after the mania and that nonsense is actually being treated, I follow the directions of new psychiatric PA and I get into a neurologist. She wants me to go for head injury, I only want to see what this tremor might be tied to... But I already know. I did not have it before and I knew it as soon as wrist orthopedic mentioned it with concern all over his face.
Yep. MRI shows TBI. Not concussion at all... so maybe I am batting lower because I first thought concussion and it was actually worse.... but truthfully, "I think I might be manifesting better than I am," said to at least 3 providers who diagnosed concussion, reminds me, that I knew... Deep down inside, I knew this was another TBI. It is why I woke up so quickly, I knew I could not let anyone move me and risk greater injury to my brain the it had been with the first TBI. After that snow tubing collision with a tree I had been loaded into a sled and bounced unconscious across a field... So the second time, something deep in my psyche or biology knew I had to walk up.
But I wanted to believe those providers who were the experts ... experts who were very wrong. I wanted to believe their wrong diagnosis's too.
Mania. That is what the result of believing misdiagnosis can lead to... Or was that mania from the pituitary tumor the MRI also found? We don't know, and may never know, because it was not diagnosed appropriately at the height of it or for months after amidst the chaotic cycling that ensued and I will do all I can to prevent another manic episode.
But we could have known, had those whose care I was under, when the mania presented, taken it for the evidence it was -that more was in fact going on with my brain- and ordered the tests to be done then.
And today I am glad and sad
Sad about the insanity of the journey and the mess that it has been
Sad that my experience is being shunned and shushed instead of used to help others (and me)
Others who are also being shunned and shushed and treated badly inside and out of the medical institutions that should know and behave better.
Glad that I have the husband I do and we have made the progress we have. I have support here.
Glad that I have been fortunate to get the medical help I need even if it took far longer than it should have and the journey was not a direct route.
...and nervous
because today I just scheduled surgery for the hip. I will get it fixed next week.
nervous... but also glad
glad that I will finally be done with the finding and diagnosing of injuries from the car accident of 2017.
TBI has compounding effects. It leads to behaviors and symptoms that can look quite different than what is expected. And for those of us that are coming in with a second TBI, providers need to be aware of the effects of years of conditioning to hide and be ashamed of our symptoms and associated problems. Providers need to not add to the shame, shunning, isolation and ostracism. It even effects our ANS: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324431877_Concussion_and_the_autonomic_nervous_system_An_introduction_to_the_field_and_the_results_of_a_systematic_review
(yes, that article by my ex-neuropsychologist, is about concussion, but I am fairly certain more severe TBI's are likely to effect the autonomic nervous system as well... but that is just a guess)
So in the end what am I batting here? I lost track... and I'll leave it that.
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