My criminal defense attorney was kind of all over the place trying to figure out the best strategy in representing me. In his defense, he usually deals with people who are guilty of the crimes alleged in some form or another and I was not. For me it was hard talking to him sometimes because one minute he would be telling me they should not have filed the charges and the next he was saying they had probable cause.
But actually they did not.
They had probable cause to investigate and probable cause to file charges against my son but they did not have probable cause based on reasonable suspicion to file charges against me. What they had was evidence that I was a victim and then they perpetuated that, thus making me a victim of themselves, the system, and, conceivably, a victim of my own son because he had made what was perceived to be a threatening phone call to the discriminating professor. A phone call that I had no knowledge of until after I had been criminally charged and had hired an attorney. They did not even have a probable cause statement on the charging documents. The attorney had to call to get that information. Up to that point I knew nothing about a "threatening" phone call made by anyone. I was so shocked by this news when my attorney told me it, that at first I believed the professor created some sort of elaborate hoax to set me up. As the evidence was unveiled, we found out it had, in fact, been my son who made the call.
Now what my son did was stupid and we do not condone it. I get mad at him when he makes stupid comments like he did on the phone call he made to the professor. However, he is a 15 year old boy, whose prefrontal cortex is not fully developed and, in a way, he was an indirect victim of this professor himself. His case, when actually investigated, appears to be the case of a child of a victim acting out against the abusive source and then that child being further harmed by a system that appears to favors titles, egos, and money over truth and justice.
Probable cause, to my criminal defense attorney, is debatable. He seems to think probable cause does not actually need to be based on reasonable suspicion because of how frequently charges are filed when the suspicions are not reasonable or not reasonably investigated first. So, then, once again, the ethical standards are not being upheld because of how frequently they are not upheld. It makes no sense, but this is what is happening. Or it is because those who are obligated to uphold them get away with not upholding them and are not held accountable. Here is a link to an excellent article about this: https://theappeal.org/prosecutorial-misconduct-jeff-adachi-commentary/
This is a repeat of bigger societal issues and problems. Problems with laws, rules, knowledge, policies, common sense, and even science, that each plainly state one thing and are in place to protect the innocent and vulnerable, but in reality are not practiced. Like the "terminating" of patients due to therapists' error; the client should not be blamed or punished, yet that is exactly what happens to them. Like IHC's patient rights that they do not honor. Like the licensing boards that rarely hold those paying for a license accountable. Like how teachers are expected to be held accountable for all the shortcomings of the parents, the media, and society; conditions which they have zero control over.... so many examples and it is sickening, saddening, and maddening...
...
"Reasonable" is an important and, arguably, a constitutional right here. It is something that prosecuting attorneys need to get back to. It is something they need to be held accountable for and a standard that they need to uphold, especially with police, investigators, and accusors. https://www.alllaw.com/articles/criminal/article1.asp This article points out the ethical responsibilities of the prosecuting attorney:
"Prosecutors have an ethical duty to see that justice is done—which doesn’t necessarily mean winning a case. A prosecutor must consider the needs of the victim and society and make decisions based on the facts, the evidence, and the law. Prosecutors must also weigh the potential harm in wrongly pursuing a case or pursuing a case too soon.
Pressing charges against an innocent individual can wreak havoc on that person’s life. An arrest alone can result in jail time, taking that person away from their family responsibilities and livelihood. The loss of freedom and damage to a person’s reputation can’t be undone."
I would challenge you to put yourself in the shoes of myself, my husband, or my son and consider if the suspicions those filing charges' were reasonable. Was the suspicion that I was the mastermind behind the phone call my son made reasonable? If you do this you will find that it is not only an unreasonable suspicion but it is also an incredibly offensive one. Now, being in my shoes, you might feel very angry that:
1. They assume you would do something so stupid and ridiculous.
2. They are alleging/implying that your son isn't intelligent enough to figure out how to get the phone number on his own (that was the evidence used to support their "suspicion" that I was behind my son's wrongdoing)
3. You are his parents and they never called you, never talked to you, and nobody ever stopped and thought, "hey, maybe we should call and talk to this kids parents." This is one hell of a way to find out your child did something stupid, needs correction, probably needs help, and is struggling more than you knew.
4. The language from the accusing professor in the police report makes it clear that he does not like you, is discriminating against you, and even intended to fail you and yet they suspect you are victimizing him ...and through your son. Really?
5. What is happening is a big part of the reason you went back to school. You wanted to bring an end to the victimizing and suffering others (and yourself) who are being stigmatized and discriminated against in such unfair, bias, and damaging ways and yet that is exactly what is happening and will likely prevent you from being able to even pursue the degree needed to help make those changes.
Is this really how our criminal justice system works?
It is far from reasonable to suspect a mother is behind her 15 year old boys foolish actions, especially when those actions would obviously cause significant harm to herself, her academic and career goals, and the child. It is far from reasonable to suspect the boy even meant harm without ever even talking to him when the statement he made was vague enough to possibly mean something else, like "karma will get you" (which is what he says he actually meant). It is far from reasonable to suspect a student would be behind an irrational pseudo-threat that was not made by them, especially, considering all the evidence that showed this student was trying to do everything they could to salvage their goal that the accusing professor was sabotaging and the student was going through the appropriate channels in an effort to holding the professor accountable for his blatant discrimination and/or bad teaching practices.
Due diligence was not done.
Stereo-typing, stigmatizing and weird game playing was being done.
And it is more than a touch annoying to sit and listen to your defense attorney kiss ass to the prosecution, that has no grounds for their accusations, simply because he knows they are the ones in the position of power, he has to play their games, and you are the one that is easily targeted and discriminated against. It is not easy to then be told that their "dismissing with no prejudice" is the best outcome we could hope for especially because your discriminated against demographic is so often and so easily wrongly charged and convicted. That is not encouraging, that is egregious.
For the criminal defense attorney this is an easy victory, but for me and my family this is not a victory at all, it is merely surviving a beating. And "without prejudice," the jab of implying that we were not honest about how we handled the statement we asked our son to write, and no apology are all subtle threats being held over my head to keep me quiet and to try and keep me in my place. A threat, no-doubt, left lingering to scare me out of pursuing complaints against all of them, in their positions of power, who made mistakes and acted unreasonably and/or maliciously against me. It is their way of keeping me in the back of the bus where they think I belong.
A friend sent me this image as a form of encouragement through all of this and I believe it fits well. I have learned a lot, but unfortunately they have mostly been heartbreaking lessons about realities that most people will once again ignore or will want to, in some way, fault me for because the truths and realities I have learned threaten their false senses of safety and security and the trust in the still have in the systems that are meant to protect us. Thus some people will likely, once again, try to fault me for the storm that I did not create but that we are having to weather as a family and that I am trying to speak up about and warn others of.
One of the huge problems this most recent series of event has both taught and reinforced is just how big of a problem victim shaming, blaming and re-victimizing really is in our US culture. For example if you read the Utah Criminal Code, you will see that the charge of stalking that was alleged against me is actually something they did to me. According to Utah Code (found here https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title76/Chapter5/76-5-S106.5.html, )
"(2) A person is guilty of stalking who intentionally or knowingly engages in a course of conduct directed at a specific person and knows or should know that the course of conduct would cause a reasonable person:
(a) to fear for the person's own safety or the safety of a third person; or
(b) to suffer other emotional distress."
Those involved should not be employed in the line of work they are in if they don't realize that any "reasonable person" would fear for their own safety and that of their families when criminal charges are filed against them the way they were against me; charges for someone else's actions that I (the accused) had no knowledge of. It was also very clear that filing charges against me would cause emotional distress to the boy who made the call, myself, and the rest of my family. Especially without ever even having a conversation with any of us about the allegations. They had evidence that our family was already distressed due to the actions of the accuser. They had zero evidence that I had any knowledge about the course of conduct someone else had engaged in that they were criminally charging me for.
Please note: Once the professor took his discrimination so far as to accuse me of harassment for trying to contact him for reasons he had told us (the class) to contact him for and that I had attempted to contact him before but to which he had not responded to me about, I dropped his class and after that had no further contact with him. In class he had made it clear he had and was responding to other students. This straw, of being accused of harassment, that broke the camels back of my tolerating his discriminating behavior towards me, also triggered a PTSD response in me. Although I was trying to keep that burden from my son, he saw it and it caused him great concern. At first my son called to try and talk to the professor. Then he blocked his number and left the "threatening message" and his concern for me and the PTSD is probably why he said "You know what you did" and "you were in the wrong." However, after he made his foolish mistake, in his attempt to stand up for me, he never contacted or attempted to contact that professor again either... and he kept what he did so far hidden from us that by the time the charges were filed almost 2 months later, he had forgotten that he had done it. So stalking is an especially unreasonable charge against me because I had ceased all contact with the man without ever being asked or told to do so. To be perfectly clear, I was NEVER, not once, by any person, method, or entity, asked, told, directed or any other form instructed not to contact the professor. After it became clear he was not going to work with me or be fair I dropped his class and had no further contact and I did that on my own accord.
Also understand this would have been an easy problem to address had it been addressed appropriately by calling us, his parents, in the first place. No phone records needed to be subpoenaed, no police or public time or resources needed to be wasted. All they needed to do was call us, his parents, when it was reported (which was actually 2 days after the call was made and very likely after or when the professor had been contacted by his department head on my behalf at my request in regards to the way he had been treating me. This speculation is also based on the fact that it was not the professor that reported the "threatening" phone call, rather the department head and it was initially reported, by that department head, that I had made the call. When the police interviewed the professor and listened to the recording the police learned it was not from me, and they judged it to be from an adolescent male. The professor then "clarified" that the first call, whose voice was the same as that of the second, had come from a number he had looked up and assumed to be associated with me because it was tied to my husband's name... this is the nicest, by far, the professor was in his regard of me as reported in the police report.)
* Permission from my son was granted for both publishing and sharing this article. He insists that permission has been given and is getting annoyed with me making sure he really is okay with it and is prepared to handle any possible outcomes, positive or negative. He also feels this conversation is important to be had and shared. (And I think I am one lucky mom)
