Life's Lots

 A cousin who, to me, is absolutely amazing, recently vented on Instagram that she is tired of hearing people complain about their lot in life. Very few people can get away with saying something like this, however she can because she has had to rise above, again and again, very devastating, heartbreaking and unbelievably unfair circumstances. But still I was hesitant to offer a "like" to her post because I think it highly likely I can be perceived as one of those whom she is complaining about... 

Silly, really, why that would keep me from encouraging a post like this, but I guess that is precisely where my conflict lies: Do I want to encourage a post like this? Coming from this particular person it is more meaningful and not condemning and I know that, but do others? My main concern is that there are people whose lot in life needs to be talked about and brought to light in order to change some very bad policies, practices, and societal norms that are creating bad lots for other people too. 

I have been reflecting on my lot in life and my complaints about it and this is the conclusion I have come to: I am not all that bothered by my lot in life. Would I rather have a different lot? If I could hand pick my lot in life, you bet I would choose something different. However, that does not mean I feel sorry for myself for my lot in life. On the contrary I think my lot in life has been pretty incredible in so many ways and I feel very fortunate that I have my particular lot. What I am most "dissatisfied" with or maybe, rather, what really bothers me most about my lot in life is how other people treat and even perceive me because of it, as is so plainly evidenced by so many aspects of my recent circumstances. 

This harsh reality of my misfit and even misunderstood status to people who do not know me was countered the other day when I was hanging out with my 17 year old daughter. She was sharing with me a game she likes to play on her phone that is all about making outfits for beautiful anime style characters.  As she was looking through some of the designs she shared with me one that she said reminds her of me. She pointed out the features and explained why they reminded her of me. Here she is:

It is very meaningful to me that my daughter, somebody who lives with me everyday and has seen me at my best, my worst and everything in between, and somebody that knows me better than anyone else, perceives me to be angelic, beautiful, and so many others things that this picture embodies. 

And that is what really mattes. As long as my kids see me as something beautiful and, as my son demonstrated, someone worth standing up for, than I know I am still okay. It is nice to know that those who actually know me, know that I am not what our cultural and societal biases want to make me out to be. I hope that others may someday see and understand that better and not condemn and discriminate against people so easily for the unfortunate and/or unchosen aspects of their lot in life.