The System

 The system

And The Man.

Now I understand

the frustrations and complaints people have about them. It's not just cliches and it's not just freeloaders, nitpickers, fault finders or chronic complainers complaining; there are very real and very serious problems with so many of our systems and institutions. 

The Man- stick it to The Man has a whole new meaning to me now and I have new empathy, that I never could have understood before, for people who are abused by the system and The Man. It is so much more mental and emotionally challenging to handle then I ever would have thought. I struggle to get out of bed and to even try knowing how in vain my efforts have been, knowing how impossible it is to battle alone and how difficult it is to find any kind of honest advocate for you. Advocates and sphere of influence being the only real power you hold in fighting the systems and The Man. Two items the most vulnerable and least among us have very little of. Meek and lowly of heart have new meaning to me and I am not sure if I should fight or retreat and just survive... These hits are taking a toll on me. I am becoming increasingly socially awkward and my confidence in trying is diminishing. I see how messed up things are and I know how much potential I have to help, but as discrimination from The Systems continues doors shut even harder and tighter and I become even more and more reluctant to approach any doors at all...

I have new sympathy for other kinds of abuse as well. I cannot even imagine how much it would have screwed me up if I had been through some of the horrific abusive situations some of my friends and acquaintances have been through and to have those abuses ignored by parents, law enforcement, medical providers and others who are supposed to be in positions to help you. Yet, I am powerless to do anything about the abuses I have suffered or that others are suffering.  

Which is what makes the frustration and anger so deep and intense against The Man and The System. Powerful and prestigious ego's that will never understand because they have the power and the backing. And in their pretentious small minds they earned it while you did not. For cowards it is easy to believe that people are "innately fair" and that we get what we deserve when you are on the benefiting side of injustice and unfair.  

...I try to keep moving. I try to keep going. I try to keep fighting... but I just want to go back to sleep.  $4000 now we have had to pay in attorney's fee's just to stop the false accusations of unscrupulous people from getting any farther within our judicial system. Jobs and opportunities lost, added medical bills, lost productivity and ability to focus,... these problems and expenses become very and unjustifiably significant for the insignificant when The Man and the System decide to make them so.