Thor

this draft is a bit messy but I'm publishing anyway because its a good segue into the next, and this blog is about letting it come out how it will anyway.
6/9/2019 9:55 driving home
I have written about so many different things in so many different places lately and for so many different audiences that I am not sure if I have written about this here, on the blog:

“You are very intuitive” is in my head. It wants to be written about and published.

Intuition is something I had to, -or maybe not “had to” but simply- learned to, rely on as neuroplasticity was occurring in response to my young TBI.

I have said this before. Have I said it here? I could spend time looking back or I can repeat. …It is funny how we call some repetition rumination. Repetition is a very effective learning tool. In many forms we call it practice. So at what point does repetition become rumination? And at what point does what we learn, realize, observe, absorb, feel and sense become intuition?

My intuition is pretty good at this point. But so is my ability to explore possibilities. The more times one swings a hammer the more likely they are to hit the nail on the head.

Swinging the hammer?

This is a new thought…

Swinging the hammer so many times is more likely hit the nail on the head but it is also more likely to create a few holes in the wall. …
Don’t leave a hammer in the hands of an undisciplined swinging child?
Stop swinging the hammer, recenter, focus on the nail, test at close range, then again further and further as you your strike becomes more presise ? Thus driving the nail in with intention?
So many possible analogies and directions, lessons that can be learned.
Driving the nail
The final nail
…Left to drive this nail into my own coffin?
Maybe I don’t want to hit the nail on the head
Maybe take the nail out
Maybe then the swinging hard and fast is appropriate
Because in the coffin is not where I belong

If you have to drive the nail into the coffin of the child that is not dead then keep the hammer in the hands of the wild swinging child. Let them break the coffin, all on their own, when you know you can’t. when your hands are tied.
Intuition Is that you speaking?
IHC do you create coffins for the undead? Driving nails when insurance, politics and greed says to?

Swing that hammer wild child, Redirect your rumination. Use that to your advantage. -you may not be able to bring down the fort (manufacturer) but maybe you’ll bust free from the premature coffin you've been put in, before that final nail is driven.

It’s arbitrary.
End treatment
Who decides when that is wise?
Best interest
“more testing less therapy”
“slow at processing new information”
TBI
Brain fog
PTSD
Hide my vulnerabilities
Years of burying my TBI story because it is not acceptable.
Limited to 10 sessions

Do not take on what you will not treat fairly and appropriately,
you confirm that TBI and the problems associated are not only not acceptable but also not valid.
Not okay, IHC.