Today I crave sleep.
MH, the fallen angel, is in such bad shape and I know it. I want to sleep, and let my healing energy somehow pass on to him.
But I know I can't. It is impossible to do this. So then I wish to sleep to keep the heart from hurt and to keep the mind from memories, meaning and maybe even mania.
And I am still healing.
Not just my ankle, but my whole leg and hip now remind me. The other foot and the tired brain remind me.
Then there are the scratches all up and down my legs... new wounds, new healing.
.But healing is happening and stronger I become.
..My heart, though it hurts for this new man, this time it simply hurts figuratively. Not the depth and complexity, not the injured chemistry.
Today I feel it in my chest but not so nearly physically.
Back in November my heart physically hurt. I could feel the chemicals surging and it hurt. Only to subside per the tabs of the drug that had caused it. But with out the drug -I was no longer allowed- it hurt. off and on physically, all the way through to somewhere in March or April. That is a very long time, but I'm glad I'm adjusting. I'm healing.
The process is so slow and confusing
broken in my own way
yet still far better off, in my childish state,
than the man that fell from the sky yesterday.
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