The Valleys

I had a job interview today for a job I feel very excited about. I am not sure how the interview went though because it was at 2:00 pm. That seems to consistently be about my max out point on optimum cognitive functioning these days and that is very frustrating.
I felt I was doing better than this before the set back of my therapist dumping me.... not up to pre-accident but better than this. I am not sure what set me back more, that or the ankle and 7 weeks of not being able to get much movement in, trying to allow one part of my body to heal at the expense of the other (again).
As far as my mood stability I have been doing immensely better this last week.
Taking the time to stand up for myself, writing it out, even though it was ignored, misconstrued, or misinterpreted, yet again,  still helped me. It helped me know that I am worth it to myself to stand up for and to keep trying for myself even when I know the odds are against me. I feel good and positive about trying and making the effort to say what I felt I needed to and what was right to me even knowing that it most likely would not matter to them and knowing that they don't care and see no value to me or what I have to say.
I suppose it is empowering how hard they are working to restore the "imbalance of power" he is supposed to have over me...but that I apparently have over him or them.
It is very silly really.
Their attempts to restore and maintain the imbalance of power is the unethical issue here.
Good thing I am so powerful
or at least smart enough to see what the ethical issues are.
I feel bad for them, they feel so threatened and insecure, and they are not even sure what the threat is.
It is their own misconception of power and their fear of others who do not conform to their mold.
They are stuck in the king of the hill game that I feel hurts our society and culture. They may feel it too, but they feel forced to play, not realizing that the only way we will ever stop the perpetuation of this damaging game is to either a. stop playing or b. play differently.
I still like the idea of helping each other up and sharing the hill instead of constantly knocking everyone one down, perceiving them as a threat.
This hill in particular is important to me personally and I don't like that I know people who are vulnerable and there for help are going to get knocked down by misinterpretations of power struggles or rigid rules on treatment terms that are only in place to capitalize financially; not to help them to the individual extent they need.
...So in my game I will help you up, hoping this time you don't knock me down. We can discuss our rules and maybe we can negotiate but if you insist on knocking me down again and again, and in playing that way, I'll walk away from you as well.
Maybe someday I'll find a hill that is a good fit and has room for me. But even if I don't I think I'm pretty okay with walking these valleys and loving the souls I find down here.
Down in these valleys you find all sorts; but mostly we are not weak, we are kind by choice.