Cherished and grieved

... and on that note I will add that I am realizing that I can not simply let go and forget those people who I cherish in my heart. When I try to my heart breaks and hurts and I find myself fading and dying with them. And while I may not be able to have them in my life all the time or even at all, I will forever cherish them -no matter the fight I have to fight for me- and my heart will always be open for and to them.
And today, this new day like everyday, I embrace me and continue to work to be the best version of me. Today I am choosing to be patient with my grieving. To love myself through it and forgive myself. To be kind to myself because I did not ask for this and I was not ready to grieve a loss that was both significant to me and confusing.
Today I am not trying to fight, push out or burn up memories I am just letting them be what they are and loving them the way I do when I think of others I have lost.
I would never try to push memories of my brother out, try to force myself to "get over" him. He is cherished to me and I hold onto and cherish the memories of him.
I found strength today in thinking of my ex-therapist similarly. I do not think of him like I do a brother but he was a cherished and dear person to me with whom I connected easily and more deeply than I ever let him know. While I understand I have to let him go and grieve that loss I do not want to lose him anymore than I wanted to lose my brother and so I suppose I will have to let his memories stay... because as he fades and die so do I*
...and I still have far too much life left in me
(*and though that sounds super romantic [kind of super cheesy] and maybe it is; it also may just merely be the one sided reality for the client/patient that was dealt the hand of premature/mishandled termination, lost objectivity, and/or office politics driven decisions in counseling/psychotherapy)