I've been a fool thinking I could avoid the crash that inevitably follows... I've kept it at bay for many months now, but I feel it, slowing and pulling. The weight.
Depression is creeping heavily in
...meditations
contemplations.
Exploring my own brain
I find that spot way in the back that is happy and fine.
I can access that. I can pull that out
Bright colors.
Fields of flowers
snow
sunshine
smiles and bright feelings
It's still there
I have to pass through all the dark and heavy;
push it aside
I'll need to listen to it when it nags and pulls or it will creep into my happy and take over before I know it, but the happy is still there
waiting for me to find it again and welcome myself in.
The reality is
this is a heavy burden that I really don't know how to handle and it is extremely complex for me. But there is still so much beauty in everything around me and even inside of me.
No comments:
Post a Comment