Keeping on

 The other day I was sad. Also scared and insecure about how to apply to grad school. It is not that I lack confidence in being able to do it, it is that I lack confidence in my ability to sell myself. I lack confidence in convincing others to give me a chance. I lack confidence in other people giving me a chance. 

And that is a very difficult challenge to overcome.

I am not sure how to overcome that one. I have had significant difficulty in the past and I am fairly certain I have been blacklisted at some institutions. ...I don't want to get into it. I already have, which may be why I have been blacklisted... 

So I will try to stay focused on the positive. 

Asking for letters of recommendations is intimidating. I was quite nervous about that. But so far the responses have been overwhelmingly positive. 

And that is nice.

So I am letting that be what I think about and focus on and I am very grateful for those votes of confidence from people I highly admire.