trying to stay ahead of dead

What to do when everyone is playing games except you?
You have to play too
if you want to make it through
...I guess
what mess.
Yesterday in conversation with my 16 year old daughter she is telling me, "if I do get married I'll know not to marry a guy like that," in reference to a "friend" that is being quite a jerk. But she tells me more, "and I couldn't marry a guy like dad either because he is too emotionally unavailable," she says.
We both love him very much, but she is correct. I think I may have said something like this to therapists before but I am fairly certain my daughter has never heard me say it. Her observation about that and other things she says tug at my heart strings. She is not saying it to be critical or complaining, it is just a matter of fact observation she is stating that she hopes to not have in her own potential marriage. And though this conversation causes mixed emotions it so very nice that somebody else sees and understands this, because it is hard and lonely often.
And that is all I have to say for today.
At least written here anyway.
Next I try to handle the fallout of things said
before going to bed
when my head
was fighting to stay ahead
of dead
...actually, at this point, I know there is nothing I can do to undo my broken moment.
If history and previous handling has taught me anything it is that it will be used against me and I knew it then and didn't care
so that is what I'll face.