Neuroscience Institute Murray, Utah

Here we go again.
Lying awake due to games being played with me by IHC or maybe just the Neuroscience Institute in Murray, Utah. I am being so bold now as to publish the name because this is and has been so very wrong and people who may desire to go there deserve to be warned.
I am so tired but cannot sleep.
I would have been more okay but today I got a second letter from them. Sent certified $6.85. My daughter had to sign for it. (after all we have been throng with them this was upsetting to her BTW)
I thought is was a repeat from the patient advocate. the BS of the appeal. so I did not bother to look at it. but my husband did.
It's not the same. It's a termination and letting me know that I am not allowed back for treatment of any kind with the neuroscience Institute because "our clinic cannot provide the ongoing behavioral health treatment you need related to your traumatic brain injury."
The letter also informs me that Concussion Dr. will not be following through with her commitment to me to give a recommendation on a psychiatrist-psychologist team or even just a psychiatrist but rather "Your insurance company can provide resources for finding a provider to manage your ongoing behavioral health concerns, and we encourage you to reach out to them to facilitate this process."
-Oh how sweet of them.
My concerns expressed to Concussion Dr. about blindly throwing money at trying to find the "right fit" she was encouraging me to find, the reasons I was asking for her help and recommendations, are completely disregarded and now "behavioral health concerns."
The "prior undisclosed mental health issue's" that I begged to have acknowledged as they came flooding back to my memory and connected PTSD style to my previous TBI are now "behavioral health concerns" that they are incapable and incompetent of handling.
Beautiful, isn't it?
And second letter is signed by the only person they acknowledged made any mistakes and would be held accountable, which is also the person I asked not be allowed any contact with patients because of how she treated me. Why on earth would it be okay for her to be the one contacting me to confirm the frustration I expressed to Concussion Dr's assistant; that I have, in fact and reality, been ostracized by the facility?

Dear John, ... Love, God

6/11/2019 4:22am

I’ve been lying awake for some time now. Even though so many people have told me there is nothing you can do, (the giant IHC will do what they want) I am still in shock. It baffles me that they have faked so much and gone so far and accept no responsibility, will admit no wrong doing.  

As I am lying awake I think of my meme: Not Maniac? Then God really does have a message for you. 

And I think of his lack of reply when I asked “Do you think I have been here playing games with you this whole time?”

I think of how this seems to drive that final nail of evidence that he was. 

I think about his comment, “I don’t believe in forever anymore”

And of the chakra visible Yin and Yang that appeared in his office 

God's message to him through me may look something like this:

I do. and I’ll find you in forever 
but like the unicorn on your couch, you will be lost in outer darkness not believing in your own existence. 

When I find you, I’ll feel like a God to you as I pull you out of your darkness 

and As you realize your truth,

The truth that will either free us both from the lies of this situation 

Or that will burn you up. 

A burn that will ignite inside of you to the degree of Hell.

The burn that I have felt an inkling of as you lit and played with the fire of my personal chemistry. 

I was not your personal chemistry set. 
I am not a toy.

And though you helped me realize

That I am simply human and allowed to be

-That I do not wish to be a god and do not have to be-

I will feel like One to you 

as I reach for you 

and your truths are revealed.

So… will you deny my mania?

The way you have denied connection

The way you deny responsibility for the mess you know I should not be blamed for?

It’d be so much easier if I were devoid of the symptoms you deny

Then I could forget 

And I would not need to solve

But alas, the sad reality is that I am not.

And that I am not David

Though I might now go looking for him 

To bring down the Goliath that you hide behind.

So, dear friend, was I manic or not?

Or is this too deep for you the way those potentially troublesome emails were too deep for your superiors? [Now what were you so worried about? Or did you have to work to manipulate them to overlook it ...kind of like the way you manipulated me?…Hoping you could alter what I was seeing when you knew I was seeing right through you -when you knew before I did …because I am/was slow at processing new information in the time of my broken brain. Too bad I know so many tricks. Too bad I have the experience you now call “prior undisclosed”]

Will this be your reality? Or will you find God again? 

I hope you will find God, because he loves you so much more than I do.

(and only He can save you from this hell you have created)