Discovery.
It's a beast.
One of the people at USU, the only one who seemed to care and be trying to help at all wrote this in her report about me "My experience is that Erica likes to communicate verbally, as it helps her be heard, even if there is no resolution."
I have very strong feelings about this statement.
1. I really care about the person who wrote this and believe she was one of few who was actually looking out for me so while I appreciate her intention I feel a bit betrayed by the stupidity of the logic.
2. The stupidity of the logic may be a harsh way of saying that but at this moment I do not have better words available to me to illustrate what I am feeling and observing and what I am observing is this weird belief that I am speaking and fighting to be heard for the mere satisfaction of speaking. This in NOT the case. This weird belief that I didn't and don't need resolution is rather absurd.
3. Because I was and am only speaking so much because I absolutely need resolution.
4. To be heard with no resolution is not to be heard.
5. To be heard and dismissed and then ignored is degrading and dehumanizing
6. And this causes even more significant need to be heard
7. because then you are fighting for so much more than just to be heard. You are fighting for your value, liberties, and even your life.
and I think I will end here
because there is not enough left in me today
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