Ride On

 Learning to listen to your body can be challenging. 

Today my body is insisting it is tired and it wants to sleep. More. But I don't want to and I have a lot I need to do. Which may actually be why it is saying it is tired. It's feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that needs to be done and all the people that need my thoughts and concerns, and thus I am spent before I even begin. 

Or is it because I spent a lot of time out working in the sun yesterday? Something that tends to wear most people out.

Or is it because I have not taken Adderall today? 

And that is an annoying aspect of my new disabilities. I feel like I need a drug to manage every aspect of homeostasis. I need lexapro to keep me out of the lows and anxiety, I need seroguel to keep me from going to high, having too much energy and becoming too big for my body and to make it so I can sleep, and then I need adderral to help me wake up, focus, and keep going in the day... That is strange. 

But I still feel very lucky that these medications work as well as they do for me and my mixed up body. I am grateful that I can and do function so well. 

On a somewhat related note, I got to ride that trail again with my husband. This time, although it was the same time of day, I did not experience the brain short-circuiting like I did last time. That was nice and I am glad that I can build up some tolerance. Of course my day before the ride looked quite a bit different then the day before the previous ride, but even still, I rode better and never felt like I was over-running my brains headlights. 

So life is good and that which I persist in doing is becoming easier. Not that the tasks themselves have changed but that my ability to do so is increasing and that is a good feeling.