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Friday, July 29, 2022

Dear DOPL prelitigation panel IHC vs me

 DOPL Panel. Reviewing their bullshit decision in preparation for taking on the ... I can't find words vile enough to describe the creatures I am preparing to take on... and rage is rising. 

Rage that is born of necessity. The fight of life. To be so dismissed and dehumanized. To be treated with so much degradation in tone and declaration by people who are "highly qualified" and to know that these egregious egos are teaching others the same forms and levels of discrimination. 

It is more than I can bear. 

And the anger keeps my heart beating. keeps it from breaking and keeps me breathing. 

To deny myself of this rage would be to accept a defeat that is so demoralizing and so dehumanizing that a person becomes less then the dog shit left on the lawn waiting to be scooped and discarded so as not to taint the perfectly manicured palaces' of power and prominence. 

But I am not dog shit and treating me as such, while recognizing the fertilizing power of bullshit -your warped facade of caring-  does not protect you, your ego, your profession and especially not your patients. In fact you compromise all but your disgusting and fragile ego. 

I am angry and 

I am human. 

But you, you are the reason Suicide is going up, not down, and you are the demise of your patients, not the prize and not their savior. You are degradation and death. How much blood is are on your hands? Does your fragile ego feel threatened by this truth? Will you deny it and increase harm just to prove your power to yourself? 

I hate you, not me, and I am more human than you will ever be because at least I know what I am and what I am not and I do not use that to demean and dehumanize the marginalized. I do not blame and shame the innocent for the mistakes of my colleagues and comrades. I do not blame the cripple for his ailments. 

to stay quiet is too much because I, like Semmelweis, know the lives you are costing because of your blind ego and pride. 

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