And we don't fight...hiding in plain sight

I'm doing really well. I am so glad that this is true and becoming more true every day.
And yet I am still very timid when it comes to putting myself out there
And when it comes to fighting that battle that I know more and more needs to be fought
but that, ironically, I also want to fight less and less as I improve..
It is mildly disturbing because I know that they know this about folks like me.
I know that they know we have little energy and little support to fight.
Plus they easily can paint you into a corner which they have done with me.
People won't listen because you are "crazy" and they are the experts who get to decide what form of crazy you are.
It is, of course, not them, it is never them, it is you
And that is crazy
and very sad...
So very very sad
so ...very ....very... sad
how I was used and then abused so very easily because I have had TBI,  mania (bipolar) and PTSD...
It is so very sad that they very people who should have been helping and protecting me used these things against me as justification for, or to cover, their misconduct.
It is very sad how people who can make a difference, who do have a voice fear aligning themselves with me because of the power and influence of the Institution that "ethically" discarded me for no good reason at all.
It is so sad that my talents and what I have accomplished are wasted and disregarded because they could not see me for what I am, because they fear that my knowledge and power threatens them and their's... Because they cannot see that I wish to work with them and not against them.
It is so very sad and my heart is so very broken by this even when I am well.
I see why I have hidden myself and why I run away from relationships and occupations before they abandon me. I see why TBI survivors and people with medical mental health issues hide, self isolate. We are abandoned and isolated, discredited, dismissed and dehumanized by those we are supposed to be able to trust and by the "experts" thus it becomes safer and less painful to hide and self isolate
I still feel safe sleeping and hiding.
I can also attest, for my own experiences and those of others, that some of our suicidal thinking is very much an inward reflection of an outward societal and cultural problem; it is a symptom of unhealthy societal perceptions and treatments of people who have mental health conditions. So we become like these:

Tiny little beauties hiding in plain sight.