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Thursday, April 30, 2020

A Bursting Nut Shell? (maybe it is a manic nut)

1. Many people just can't seem to wrap their head around the difference between a LCSW and a doctor of neuropsychology. If you have been to a neuropsychologist that knows what they are doing, you will know easily that there is a big difference. A neuropsychologist really is most appropriate for diagnosable illnesses, complex cases, and head injuries. They know the medical and physiological stuff as well as what is realistic to expect from a person with certain conditions. They know how to help you understand what is physiologically and psychologically going on with your head. Sometimes so well that you wonder if they have the same condition (Dr. She is that good).

2. I am tired of feeling silenced and powerless to do anything. I am disgusted more now than I was before when I try to organize the evidence of malpractice that is my burden to prove if I expect any of the many wrongs of the Neuroscience Institute to be righted. Wrongs that effect insurance settlement, impressions of me, treatment options, and opportunities within the industry that I belong in. Wrongs that are dangerous to practice, and wrongs that were harmful to both me and my family. Wrongs that will for ever scar me and may have actually contributed to some of the physical harm that has befallen my head (bipolar, encephalomalacia with gliosis, and seizures)...

3. As I tire of waiting in silence for lawyers that are not filling me in, as I wait too long knowing that these very bad practices have not been addressed and are likely still going on, and since I want to move on but do not feel okay with turning a blind eye, I find my conscience increasingly burdened as I know the "right" thing is not the easy thing and I believe I need to be more publicly vocal about this.
But it is very hard to explain in a short and concise way that warns people of the dangers...

4. Now lets see if I can explain in a super condensed nut shell what happened with the Neuroscience Institute, people like to hear the story of it and get easily caught up in the drama of transference and countertransference but they fail to comprehend or believe the malpractice part of it.  They will happily use the very reason misdiagnosis was such a big deal to justify their disbelief of the shear insanity of what really did happened and how I really was mistreated.
My situation was not just a problem with a therapist who was offering "counseling services,"
The problem was that:
I was first under diagnosed by my TBI doctor who had asked to be my primary care provider for TBI and auto accident related injuries.
I had a neuropsychologist who broke me when he either lost objectivity due to countertransference (something he had strongly implied, but later denied) or because he was grooming and I had not responded they way he had wanted me to.
Trusting him completely, loving him, and not knowing what was really going on with him or my head I found myself in an even bigger mess when he completely missed or intentionally misdiagnosed me, ignoring the mania I was experiencing, to cover his indiscretions and boundary violations.
... crap right out of a movie, to hard to explain here...
 ...then I was mistreated for trying to address this with them, without getting anyone into trouble, and for asking for clarification. They would not allow for any conversation about what had happened and the unplanned outcome of my condition. I was put through a bogus investigation with the Patient Experiences and greatly misrepresented by my "patient advocate" who did not stop the investigation when I realized and told her I did not want understand the point of the investigation and did not want it to continue until I did. This was after she told me it was not likely to help me "but it would help other patients." I also told her I was afraid they would use it to reinforce the bad policies that had and were hurting me since I was never even granted a conversation with her in person or the person leading the investigation at all. ...again more movie like drama with things being said on the phone but not reported in any of their documents... and the director I was not allowed to talk to and would they would never name decided the misdiagnosis was accurate based solely on the fact that the man in question had said so, despite the other evidence, some of which they acknowledged in the report and after they refused to even read/include my side of the story that I had insisted they included if they were going to proceed with the investigation. The patient advocate stated that the director had said it would not have made a difference on his decision. In addition to denying transference and mania (the misdiagnosis of my condition), the report also included their declaration of there had not been any kind of "inappropriate relationship" and proceeded to explain their justification for that when, at that point, I was still being stupidly protective of said therapist (something he manipulated me to be) and had insisted myself that there had not been and that I did not want the investigation to be about that.  (I was naive and I was processing things from a strange psychological place of both an adult and a child due to the PTSD and flooding of memories I was experiencing at that same  time so I did not realize the inappropriateness of it or why said therapist said he could "loose his license because of you [me]")
After speaking with the therapist my doctor then feigned care when she was actually denying me proper medical care and referrals because (or at least the evidence suggest) they thought, or they wanted it to make it appear, that I was simply there pursuing the therapist that had now officially terminated me.
-more movie like insanity including the office director that yelled at me in front of my kids and denied me my records and a copy of the patient rights- no wait this was before the investigation- Just drama from the office staff and assistants and my doctor refusing to refer properly but trying to get me to leave.
After months of progressively fading into the insanity of my denied and underrated condition, I finally left, still loving and trusting all of them and thinking they would come to their senses and stop treating my like a liability when I was not. I finally realized I could not keep coming back.  (except the office director and the unnamed director, I did not love them at all and due to my compromised mental state I though they must be the real enemy that my doctors were so afraid of)
... More drama, appeal denied, gaslighting, and "terminated" from the entire facility for the very conditions and problems I had tried to talk with them about that they were denying.
...In a fight for my life and left alone to try and find appropriate help after my doctor had told me she would help me find a new team but then had her staff tell me she could not so go through my insurance...
..more drama... I am literally fighting to stay ahead of the voices that say I need to be sacrificed for him and them, that I am dying and need to die.
In the nick of time I find a new provider that right away see my deteriorating condition that was misdiagnosed and gets me appropriate care. As I am starting to improve I knew I had to report them but still wanted to believe in the institution and providers so made every reasonable effort to reconcile, allow for clarification, and to seek understanding, which resulted in my being threatened by a lawyer with harsh false allegations and threats to criminalize and penalize me if I did not stay quiet about all of this.
...There is just no short way to explain this... and all my attempts fall short so very short...

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