Upgrading to Marginalized

 Marginalize: verb [with object] treat (a person, group or concept) as insignificant or peripheral: (as adjective marginalized).

Synonyms to marginalize(d) include: sideline, trivialize, isolate, cut off, shut out, disenfranchise, alienate, estrange, and discriminate against.

The definition alone of marginalized is not adequate to describe those two demographics I belong to, TBI survivor and Bipolar. Two demographics that it is currently socially and culturally acceptable to discriminate against. If we include the synonyms to marginalize we get closer to our status within society, but we are still not quit there. Marginalized is still a higher status then we are so often given and the term is just not adequate enough to describe our plight.

So in conjunction with the term marginalized, the demographics of TBI survivor and bipolar also need these terms to be included to describe our societal status: dismissed, degraded, devalued, dehumanized, misconstrued, misrepresented, stigmatized,...

Let me explain some of the harsh realities you face when have bipolar and/or have had a TBI and people know it. 

If you are normal (or if people don't know about your conditions) when you reach out to someone or entity for some legitimate purpose it is perceived to be for the purpose that you are reaching out. If you do not hear back and you follow up, this is considered to be a positive trait. You may be heralded as being persistent (in a good way), motivated, resolute, purposeful, resolved etc and you are more likely to get some form of response back. To which you will then reply according to the response which will most likely take the form of an invitation or thoughtfully given rejection. If it is an invitation you are further rewarded for future correspondence. If it is a rejection you will often still be praised for response that is equal to thank-you-for-your-time-and-feedback or a one-more-hard-sale attempt. 

However, if you have one of those other aforementioned titles attached and people know about it far, FAR TOO OFTEN, for following the EXACT same model as outlined above or less, you will be entirely ignored. If you dare to follow up then it is highly likely to be misconstrued to be harassing, and you will be treated with all manner of degradation. You may even be threatened for it. It is degrading, demoralizing and dehumanizing. But still, YOU, the person with known mood altering disabilities, are required to respond with graciousness and dignity as if the perpetrator of the dehumanizing is noble for even giving you any of their precious time. And it does not matter how calm, nice or stable you actually are, if you exhibit any form of impatience or frustration you are immediately shut down, shot down, and shut out. It does not matter the circumstances or the fact that such circumstances would increase stress and seriously try the patience of EVERY persons and if you are behaving better then most people, if you have one of those labels, and they know it, you will be condemned for any show of weakness.  It is far worse than being marginalized. 

When you ask for clarification, for your rights to be honored, for the same/equivalent treatment or if you continue fighting for the ending of such treatment you are only further misrepresented, chastised, ostracized, criticized, dehumanized, etc and given all manner of degrading labels, like: crazy, pain in the ass, delusional, waste of time, of no consequence, etc. 

People fear you because of their own misconceptions, biases, prejudices, etc. But if you try to clear those up, you are often treated in similar fashions as those described above.

If you ask for help you are shunned and shamed. 

And you get to listen to people casually talk about "crazy" people and "bipolar" in the most degrading ways. Nice people, good people, will say things  "that demon child has got to be bipolar or something." Or  like the therapist who asked my sister "so when are you going to leave him?" when she went to her for help and to learn how to cope with and handle her husband's bipolar illness.

Can you imagine if a person went to counseling for help handling the realities of life and issues associated with their spouses illness of cancer, diabetes, etc (like they so often do) and the therapist asked them, "So when are you going to leave them?" because they had been diagnosed with a tragic illness? 

We would be, as a society, absolutely appalled. We might even say it is "outrageous and intolerable."

If certain people are chastised, dismissed, degraded, devalued etc for expecting people they have paid, to treat them according to their paid professionals obligations to them (example doctors and professors) is that acceptable in a civilized community?

Is it acceptable to dismiss, degrade, ostracize, chastise, punish, etc. highly vulnerable and marginalized people for being highly vulnerable and marginalized? 

This is a small and severely understated example of what people like me are facing. It is why it is hard for us to get appropriate care or to admit to anyone, including and even especially ourselves, that we need the help and care we do.

It is also a HUGE factor in the suicide epidemic that is rising instead of declining. 

And this is all very frustrating. 

So I am asking our medical and mental health providers to please, at least, upgrade us -those with TBI, Bipolar and other mental illnesses- to marginalized. Marginalized is at least recognized in policies, are a bit more protected, and there are many grants and programs to help de-marginalize the marginalized. 

...I decided to post this to FB and after I did I started reading others posts. About the third post down was a heartfelt and beautiful tribute a friends young adult son who was just diagnosed with cancer. It is sad and I hurt for them... but I also have to admit I felt a bit of jealousy. Jealousy because they are dealing with an acceptable illness and an acceptable trauma and for it, they have very visible and compassionate support....

Wouldn't it be nice if all of us with serious life altering medical conditions were treated with the same level of support and compassion. We'd never allow the same degrading treatment to happen to this young man and his family because of his illness... so while my heart hurts for him and his family I am also grateful for them that his form is considered acute and has a good survival rate and I am grateful they are not dealing with an illness that they would be shamed, shunned and even vilified for in addition to and while they are dealing with the immensely difficult trials they will be as they try to stabilize and beat this illness/disease.