Reaching out vs Calling out

 It is shocking just how bad the medical malpractice really is and how much people can and will deny. 

Today I find myself repeating what seems to have become a necessary mantra: "That which I persist in doing becomes easier. Not that the task itself has changed but that my power to do so has increased."

But still it is hard which is why I am here... choosing to say all the things I want to say here. 

1st it is shocking what people with titles will condone from their peers and others with titles. Shocking. And how they will condone all of it. They will not even acknowledge that, yes, maybe somethings could have been done differently or better or that there were some mistakes made. It is shocking that they won't even give you that... And disappointing too because then you know you really have to fight because it is far worse than you knew and want to believe... Which again confirms that you are not the only one. 

How in the hell can positive advances be made in treating and diagnosing patients if when medical and psychological providers make mistakes they deny everything and refuse to look at what could have been done differently? 

With IHC, they directly contradicted themselves, distorted evidence, faulted me for believing them and trying to protect them, and they straight up lied about things. They straight up lied about things that made NO sense to lie about. Like 10 minutes to reiterate. Why would they lie about an appointment only being 10 minutes long? and if Dr. He really did only spend 10 minutes talking to me at that last appointment, then HOLY SHIT the mania I was experiencing was MUCH MUCH worse than I knew. And the SUPPER POWERS were REAL!

...which also means Dr. He really did engage in very reckless endangerment and/or, especially considering all of his highly acclaimed credentials, is either shockingly stupid or did something really bad and VERY inappropriate. 

It's scary really. Damn scary... and I wish I didn't know this first hand...

2nd: How the hell do they all sleep at night? or are they really that delusional in their beliefs, values, practices, egos whatever? How the hell do their attorneys sleep at night? Do they actually and literally enjoy bullying victims AND lying to the medical providers? It sure seems and appears that way. And do these attorneys really believe their lies? Do the providers really believe their lies? This is very scary... because the scariest liars are those who believe their own lies...

Since I am saying here what I wish to say, but know I am expected not to, I think I might also let them know I have every right to reach out to people who might know just how bad a person is and how far I need to take this fight. 

Yes, I DID reach out to Dr. He's ex-wife and I am not sure how that all got brought up to him; if she used it against him or if she just let him know that it had happened. If I were to guess based on things Dr. He had said to me I would guess that she used it against him. However, since I now know that He is not honest, cannot be trusted, AND that he said somethings to manipulate me, I might more safely assume that she may have just brought it to his attention. Or she was scared of loosing part of her income (in the form of alimony/child support) if he were exposed for what she knew him to be... Who really knows? Not me because I am not allowed to talk with anyone who could answers these questions. Which brings me back to my point in contacting his ex-wife at all; which can be easily summarized into "seek first to understand." 

When I reached out to her the ONE and ONLY time I did, via Facebook, I did so because I had been put into this situation where I knew things were wrong, that Dr. He had been deceptive and deviant on some level, but I was not sure how deceptive and deviant he was. I DID NOT want to go after him at all. I did not want to file complaints and lawsuits etc. BUT I also knew, especially because of how things were handled and continued to be ignored, dismissed, condoned, etc by IHC, that this guy could be/is a REALLY bad guy. I knew there was/is a chance he really is a grooming psychologist who very cleverly set himself up in the PERFECT position with a very prime demographic of patients, and that he was so good at it, so subtle, calculating, and charming in a self-effacing way, that he may never be caught regardless of how much harm he causes to those of us he chose/chooses to groom. I also know that others aren't as strong as I am. They don't have the experiences, background, etc I do and after knowing how his manipulative practices effected me, I can't even imagine how much worse off other victims would be... I had/have an obligation to protect. But again, I don't want it and I did not want to take on the burden of trying to stop this man. It's a very difficult predicament to be in. But I figured I had to ask and that it was better to ask then to not. Especially if his ex-wife knew he needed to be stopped but was powerless to do so herself. 

So am I bad for that? Is that inappropriate on my part? It is debatable and I, myself, can debate both sides. But if we look at my intentions and reasons for reaching out to her, AND the fact that I tried only once, I will firmly argue that this should not be used against me and it most certainly should not be used to dismiss the malpractice and misconduct that were the reason for my reaching out to her. Especially since it was over a year after I had left his Neuroscience Institute. 

And just in case you want to see that message for yourself here it is: 

"I am sorry to bother you, or I hope that I am not, but I am in a very difficult predicament and moral dilemma that I am struggling to resolve that involves your ex-husband ***. He was my therapist almost 2 years ago. From what he has told me it was when you were going through your divorce. This may have been what lead to his mistakes with me, but I am also aware that he may be far more deviant than I ever wanted to believe. Would you mind talking to me about him? He, or his institution, now have me pegged as something I am not and it has caused significant problems. I am not sure if he intentionally misdiagnosed me to protect himself or if it really was an accident and they, as an institution, just handled insanely poorly but things need to be reported and I am really tired of waiting on lawyers. Plus I don't want to, and never wanted to, be the enemy they seem to think I am or have tried to make me out to be to cover up their mistakes with me. I know if you ask him he will try to keep you from talking with me, as he has done with the people at the Neuroscience Institute and others. He will also try to use it against me. I am not sure why, but even as I type this out I am seeing more and more that I have an obligation to report him... I suppose I really just want to know, and I figure you of all people will know best, just how deviant/manipulative he is? Does he need to be stopped?"

The only thing that was changed was the omission of Dr. He's name as indicated by ***.