I have to say that there are a lot of sick twisted people out there and it really pisses me off. I can not comprehend how people get to the point of doing some of the things they do. Like the guy who took Jaycee Dugard. Obviously this man is seriously mentally disturbed.
So is this what people think of when they think of a mentally ill person?
It angers me that people will use stories like this to justify discrimination against people who are getting help for mental illness/disorders. I think it is important to realize that discrimination should not be against people who are getting help. I think it is important to recognize that people like this are usually not getting medical help or are not choosing to be medically responsible. This guy was also a heavy drug user at one point in his life. That is important to recognize. Drugs change people and screw them up. I have NEVER done drugs. I somehow knew that I was already screwed up enough I didn't need help. I wouldn't even drink or smoke.
I will also tell you this; mental health issues can lead us to loose control. It can lead us to consider things that we have been taught are wrong and/or never in million years would consider otherwise. That does not ever excuse the behavior.
I will use me as an example. In a much less stable state, one that was not being treated with medically, I found myself fighting an overwhelming desire to "end it all." I would also find my temperament so fragile that I would snap and not be able to handle the stress of my children. My frustration or anger would be so intense that I would desire to hurt them. This is not something I care to admit and I would beat myself up tremendously over my temper and anger. I could see how irrational it was but I could not seem to control it. I would yell...
But like I said there is no excuse or justification for bad behavior and I think I would rather accept tendencies and intensities like that as mental illness and take a few pills for it, because they do help and they do an amazing job at solving the problem, then just keep on down the path that could lead to who knows where.
It is and was not fair to my children, myself, my family or society.
Now you may think that you can not trust me, but, if that is what you think, then you couldn't be further from wrong. You see I have a problem, it is a problem because I was taught better. I was taught value's. I was taught integrity and I was taught love and respect. If I had not been taught these things maybe I would not see it as a problem as I could have easily justified my actions by the worlds standards to that point.
I hate to think where I'd be, likely dead by my own hand because I'd rather be that then hurt my children. But suicide is something else that I was taught is wrong.
I think it is important to realize that there is right and wrong and obvious wrong is never ever justified. Wrong may be a symptom in which case you know to get help, not change the definition of right and wrong for your particular case.
I do not change right and wrong, I change myself, whatever it may take.
There are ways and things people can do to change their deviant selves and if medication helps then why the hell are we discriminating against people who are choosing to live responsibly while many, many, many unstable and frightening people either refuse to accept such a thing as mental illness or refuse to get help, or refuse to acknowledge that is might apply to them. I am angry.
I am angry with distrust. I am not broken. I have not crossed the line. I am quite sane likely more then most because I can admit that I have a problem and will keep myself well within a safe range but only by getting help in various forms and talking open and honestly.
So today I feel the world may be against me but at least I now know that with Gods help I can trust myself completely. At least I can honestly say I don't get it, I can't even begin to comprehend. But, I'll tell-you-what, I'm willing to give up any of my deviance to be sure that I never even come close to understanding. Can you say the same?
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