Sometimes I just want to throw it all away and start over. Just me, the husband and the kids. I know the kids are game... Well maybe, kind of. But the husband, he'll take some convincing...
I am tired of all the things swimming around in my head. I'd like them to go away. Too many exposures to fairy tales, and statistics. Politics and Media. Books and bills. Visuals, said and unsaid expectations... Gone are the good old days of simplicity and self reliance...did they ever really exist?
Too many movies and magazines and too many people telling me what I should look like,what I should wear, what I should act like... And yet so many people have a problem with religion for the same exact reasons. Life is lame sometimes and so are people and all I can do is write about it on this lame ass blog and some people will be intrigued but most will find it a waste of their time so is that what we really are? Is that what I am and how and why? You see, sometimes it is all just bullshit. Bullshit that hits for a moment and hopefully I've learned well enough by now to just keep holding on and things'll get looking better again. I still love sunsets and I still love mountains, beaches and even people. I love rocks and flowers. I love cliffs and waterfalls. I love to fly. I love the wind and the rain. I love cool evenings and stars. I love fires and birds. I love simple things... Someday I will disappear into my simplicity but I suppose not today.
I am with you. I am also so overwhelmed with expectations of what a good mom is, wife, etc. etc. To Hell with it all, I won't and can't measure up. Sometimes I want to just run away and start over all by myself. I know if I do it will be the end. My family is what keeps me here on earth. As much and as overwhelmed as I am. Hopefully your bullshit won't last too long. I have to talk myself through the shit. Usually it gets better and I am glad I did nothing too crazy.
ReplyDeleteTake Care,
Heather
I think that the fact that you remember that you love all of those little things makes you a well adjusted person. There are so many things in this world that become important to people that really shouldn't. There have been times when I have felt the same way...
ReplyDeleteWe've all been there, girl. Hold on (again)....
ReplyDelete