Free from pain or fighting for the underdogs?

Stories. So many stories. and I get to write my own.
take care of you they all say
Janice,
she's right.
concern all my life, taking care of others
focus on your strengths
-that is-
stand up for the underdog
but our strengths can be our greatest weaknesses
so do I take on Goliath?
Who is the real underdog
me
or he, owned by the industry?
Or they, the others whom the bureaucracy, is claiming to help?
he can't practice according to his conscience.
I do know that much.
they want him to do more testing and less therapy.
But he is amazing and very good at therapy
and testing, but he has the power to change people in healthy happy ways through therapy
Like Janice said
and she is correct
"he has changed you for the better." Hold onto that, be careful where my focus goes
I bet, that even changed, that can still be a slippery slop
best to be aware.
don't head down the slop
the one I was afraid of slipping down when I said "I can't loose you right now"
I knew I wasn't on solid ground
So slow I crept along the edge of that slippery slop so I wouldn't fall back into the same traps and ruts.
I am not the same but I am also still not in the clear
and it was good to be reminded.
 Life is so very very interesting and God really does put people in our paths at times.
"I don't know what it looks like yet" I said to the Facility Director the first time I talked with her, "but I know I need to stand up for myself"
Stories, where will this one go? Where will I take it?
It does not die here
that much I know.
I let myself die and I'm on the other side
how will the story go from here?
A few rough drafts I'll try
I like to work that way anyway.
Input welcome

his eyes are just sweaty, that's all

**another interesting (probably fact): the sex drive is likely the reason husband is not complaining. He says this has been the hardest thing on our marriage, he complains about the bills, and truthfully he doesn't like to fight this kind of fight, but he would have either left or Neuroscience Institute  would have had a few more angry phone calls and heard more from him if it weren't for that (sex).
... it is very surprising and fascinating to me that he feels this has been the hardest thing on our marriage. For me it has not because we have dealt with some really hard shit things, that have about ended us many times. Deaths, dysfunctional families, parents and siblings loosing all financial stability, health problems, mental health issues, ADHD (him), OCD (him), PTSD (me), CEN (both), depression (both), anxiety, what some label as bipolar but what we have come to realize is TBI (both) coupled with the stresses of life, poverty, welfare, separation, corrupt jobs... Lots of fun stuff in 20 years. No wonder I buried so many of my stories, and so much of me.
But
 there has also been a lot of good and fun
and after making that sidetracked, slightly derailed, list
I am pretty proud of us and how we have handled such adversity.
No turning to affairs, drinking, or drugs and we know we can trust each other.
That is refreshing and nice.