The Deep Well of Sadness and Sorrow

 Within me there is a well of sorrow so deep, I am sometimes surprised I am not entirely consumed by it or entirely hollow from it. The sadness that wells within is such a deep, dark, and vast expanse...it is impossible to put into words.

It is a sadness of awareness I can't escape. Awareness of pain and suffering that is not just my own. It is empathy and sympathy. It is morning and loss and feeling the losses and morning of others. It is tragedy and trauma amidst ignorance and arrogance and people's own defensive blocks that far too often result in the wielding of their own fears, tragedies, or traumas upon others to keep themselves from being consumed by their own pit of despair. 
It is when I feel this suffering, whether it be mine own or someone else's, that I go searching for my savior. 

This is where Jesus, or whatever he need be called by whatever your religious, spiritual, or psychological preference is, comes into play. 

A person, entity, or power that I can turn to and lean on for strength and support when I am about to collapse from the weight of the all-consuming sorrows surrounding all of us all of the time. A friend and ally who will share my burden, who will take it from me when I need them to. An entity I can visualize handing my burdens over to, passing them from my heavy and aching hands to their open and willing hands. Hands that don't take but accept with all the care and compassion in the world. Omnipotently patient and loving hands that know how to carefully hold these precious burdens without squeezing or crushing those trapped inside the burdens being passed. 

The passing of a baton in an endless race that is impossible to survive alone. 

This passing off burdens to keep them from pulling me down from the great hell of sorrow, then somehow causes a bright and happy little sprig of life to sprout from that dark abyss, a sprout of hope that I can then redirect my attention to nurturing, a sprig of knowing that I am not alone even when I am completely alone. 

That is what a Savior does, no matter the name we call them by. 

And that is what we all need and what we all go searching for even when we don't realize we are doing it. 

The trick is realizing it and knowing that humans, no matter how they present, are neither gods nor saviors and will always fail if that is what we subconsciously expect them to be.