I feel myself slipping into depression. I don't want to and I am trying to fight it, to stay afloat... I am tired. and part of me wants to allow myself to slip into oblivion. What am I actually fighting for? If I am fighting alone?
This is how, why and when we lose.
But right now I have to keep fighting because I have kids. Kids that would hurt and be angry. Kids that might blame themselves...
So "fight harder" I hear Dr. She say to me so many months ago.
Fight harder again.... but the fight is more outside than inside anymore... and it seems to be what the world is telling me. Am I selfish for not listening? For not shutting up and disappearing the way they all want me to?
"It's a symptom" I remind myself...
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