Everyday, before I really start my day I take a pill. Every night before I go to bed I take another (different) pill.
Sometimes I am unsure if this is really who I am "supposed" to be or who I am. I have to look back and remember who I "was" and then I am mostly OK with it again.
I have lost some intensity. I care a lot less about many things. I have gotten lazy in many ways and my brain seems slow and more forgetful... But then again...
Yesterday a friend told me that I think creatively. That I seem to look at things at all angles and I can analyze things form inside and outside of the box. I told her that I felt like I was losing that. But the consensus was that though it has in fact lessened (the depth, frequency, and intensity of my thinking and analytical skills) she reassured me that I still think "creatively."
To me it is nice to hear people say "I never thought of it that way." Especially if it is ended with a "thank you."
Not what I thought I would write today but sometimes our lives, our hands and our minds take us places we did not intend to go and sometimes that is OK.
It's a give and take. We'll always be who we are, but sometimes we need to give up part of our heartache to get a little peace. If it costs us a little of our edge, it's better than costing us our lives.
ReplyDeleteBesides, who's to say you wouldn't have progressed to this point mentally anyway? It's possible to get so manic that creativity leaves completely.
Change is good; it'll make you have to think a little differently for that creativity.
In a world without change we wouldn't have butterflies.
Don't think about it, just fly with it.