So I have been thinking...
I've been thinking about the nature of the beast. Often one who really needs to take medication for realities sake will wonder if it is really "right" and if they really should or need to. It is a huge struggle for loved ones to accept, especially after they have finally come to accept that there loved one really is "crazy," when that person decides they are fine and really don't need medication.
I will tell you that part of this decision (to go off) can be attributed to the fact that most people, on some level, are "mental." Often the feelings and behaviors or obsessive thoughts that required medication in the first place can be viewed as "normal." Especially when one is far away enough from the skewed reality, or far too deep into the skewed reality, to remember or realize how much more intense these issues were then what may be considered
healthy.
Example: I would often feel overwhelming guilt.
People are right when they say that guilt is normal and healthy. Good for society even. But the farther away from the immense amounts of guilt I felt the easier it is to fall slowly back into some erred thinking patterns. Overwhelming guilt over everything wrong in the world, with the expectation put on oneself that any minor infraction or injustice you see and allow or don't fight, then you are just as responsible for is just not realistic to maintain and possibly magnified by a physiologically unstable or unbalanced state.
Another example: Before I started taking meds and and a major contributor as to why I swallowed my pride and got back on them would have been called "my temper." I would have angry out bursts, usually at my children as I could not hide from them and I am around them constantly. In a level state I
do loose my patience occasionally but it is merely that and it is resolvable as me and my children aren't extremely traumatized. But without medication they were angry out bursts and the longer they went on the worse they were getting. I was convinced that I could control these but the harder I tried the worse they would get. Yet if I did not try at all that didn't help either. My rational mind would instantly flip and it frustrated me. I would try my darnedest but to no avail. In my attempts to "control" my temper I would find myself engulfed in guilt and misery, a kind that could easily justify ridding my children of myself (personally I don't think that suicide is the worst thing a person can do). Or worse I'd find myself justifying and/or rationalizing my unacceptable behavior. Fortunately for me I have been made aware that the trip to insanity is not usually an instant snap. Their are usually some warning signs and this can be one very obvious one.
In my opinion many deviant things that happen in this world are insanity and can only be explained as a result of some seriously out of whack chemistry that usually doesn't happen over night and is fed by many things. Paying particular attention to the state of media in general and what is widely accepted as acceptable forms of entertainment. They are not inherently bad but people really ought to be aware of what they are feeding in there pursuit of higher profits. Media is really the exploitation of body chemistry as it "appeals" to our senses and arouses reactions that we crave. So the continual pushing of the line has lead to a paradigm shift in values and what is acceptable. We are ever closer as a whole to complete chaos and complete insanity. I am a bit more sensitive than many but I am also
somewhat intelligent. I see the need for values being taught and people being respectful of those things that might feed our instinctive or imaginative desires, that can be referred to as the "natural man." I see the need for a higher power and good will for humanity. I see the need for people to recognize the connection and distinction of the body, mind and spirit. There really is a need for balance between these three entities of being.
The nature of the beast (mental illness) is ill and it will cause ill will if left unchecked. As a society we have a responsibility to have values and to both teach and respect those. It is up to each of us individually to recognize when we may be "off" and keep it in check. That can be accomplished through various and numerous methods but ill behavior should never be justified, rather treated. The sooner that we recognize and treat our own "symptoms" the more manageable our mental health will be and a better results of treatment are likely.
And may I emphasize that it is increasingly important that we withhold judgement on the individual but rather treat the illness.
