So I have now started three blog posts in the past few days that remain unfinished or not publish worthy. I am finding there really is a lot that I feel needs to be said on this subject. Right now I just wanted to quickly say that I am so happy with my current state of mind.
Occasionally I hear people say things, or if I try to explain and I am told "well that is normal" or "everyone feels those things" I am slightly tempted to judge myself harshly and once again return to the error of thinking that I am just a pathetic little wimp who needs excuses because I can't handle "normal emotions." While I realize that this may or may not be true, I have also realized how much better I am and feel. I still go through a very normal range of emotions. In fact just this last week I have been a bit down and my head has wandered to bizarre places, enough that I worried a little about my stability. But it was very different, it was quite manageable and I soon realized that my worrying (and possibly some of my husbands) was mostly my hesitation to fully trust the stability that I have been experiencing for such a long stretch (going on a couple of months now). I think it is important to recognize this because without recognizing I could easily sabotage my own progress. I can note some dramatic differences between how I am now and how I was then. They may not be that dramatic to everyone else but I can sure feel it and it is nice.
I will go into more detail later on some of the differences. However, for now I need to keep this post short but I do want to say this:
If what I started taking medication for is a normal reaction to a normal range of emotions and thought processes and everyone really is just like me then I truly and honestly believe that EVERYONE needs to be on medication because that SUCKED!!! It is nice to have myself back. Once again I didn't realize how bad it sucked until it stopped sucking so bad. (I will reiterate I am not saying everyone needs to be on medication, it is an "if/then" statement)
But that is what I wanted to say today. Thanks and have a lovely, level day.
People say things are "normal" to feel better about not feeling in control all the time. People are afraid that they are, in fact, not normal.
ReplyDeletePeople need filters on their mouths so that garbage doesn't just fall out.