I think it is good to write about "the way I am" while I am freshly starting to experience "the change" with medication, it is easy to quickly forget how dramatically different it was because changes are not always that quick or visible.
Today I am listening to music. I don't usually like "background" noise because it is hard for me to separate myself from it. It is not that I don't enjoy it, it may be the other way around, I enjoy it too much.
You know how it is when you hear a song that really moves you. When I hear a song that I like or enjoy I feel very connected to that song, it is hard to separate my emotional or physical reaction to the song from the song and everyone who might be affiliated with it. In this way I can see how people become obsessed with celebrities, rock stars, artists, etc. It feels so personal so directed at you it is hard to believe that there is not a very real personal, spiritual, psychic or supernatural connection to that specific person. In fact it is that very natural reaction that feeds there success but for me it can be a bit too intense.
So today it is nice to listen to and enjoy some very good and pleasant music without being tempted to believe that this person must know and love me the way that I know and love their music. Thank you Pandora Radio. And thank you prescription medications.
Haha...there are certain songs I can not do anything else while listening to them but sing. (wow, that was an interesting sentence.) Jesse has been known to turn the radio off in the car so that I can "focus" on a conversation!
ReplyDeleteWow thanks for sharing your blog with me. I have found it interesting in a very good way. You know about my own struggles with mental illness and addiction, so I appreciate reading through your stories. I applaud your decision to accept your prescription medicine and sharing your story through your talented writing. My anti-depressants have played a huge part in saving my life and keeping my family together. I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. I know it can be a real struggle to find the right one/combination of meds that will work for you. Keep writing, I will be back to read some more. Lots of Love to you my friend!
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