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Showing posts with label spiritual highs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual highs. Show all posts

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Letting go of Spiritual Highs

So this is my blog entry that I have felt "inspired" to post but will leave some thinking "OK, she's really nuts" while others might relate so well they will feel relived to have some one say it.
One thing that I seem to "give up" in favor of medication are "spiritual highs" and I have my own theory about this (and a lot of things). In my world of mood swings and ups and downs I often will experience some pretty profound and enlightened ups. They are amazing and I am always grateful for them, but I have to admit they are the writings (if I happen to write while I'm in that up) that I am most embarrassed of when I'm out of that up. I will also acknowledge that these ups are usually followed by an equally low down -heavenly highs and hellish lows.
I had gotten pretty good at recognizing the patterns and was pretty good at rolling with the punches, but it is exhausting and as my current psychiatrist pointed out "we sometimes think we are doing better then we are" and as the wise grasshopper pointed out "it's not all about you." It was not a maintainable cycle for me I was literally loosing my mind. But back to the "spiritual highs"

I was sitting in church, yes church, missing those "moving feelings" when I felt the need to write (though church and church related material is not necessarily where I would experiences these highs, rather church has actually been more of a constant for me) and this is what I wrote:

"We are not here to have a spiritual experience, we are here to have a mortal experience. Or spiritual experiences are to enhance, assist, remind us, of our mortality.
But all-in-all I don't believe this is meant to be a spiritual life but a mortal life (don't get me wrong, you can be a spiritual person and that is good, but we are spiritual mortals not mortalual spirits, yes, that is a made up word but you get my point and humor, I hope).
When our life becomes overly spiritual, in our mortal state, then in our imperfection and in our mortality we are subject to both/all side of the spiritual realm and the depths of them, which cannot be constantly and consistently maintained in our currant state. It is too much for our little bodies to handle. (again let me emphasise "when we become OVERLY spiritual")
To be alive in this world one must be somewhat dead/asleep/absent of the other (not dead in a dead sense, more like plants in winter are "dead"). One day it will all make sense but now is not the time or the place. But rather to live a mortal life and do the best you can with that.
We are meant to have joy, love and FAITH here so enjoy your 'ignorant' adventure!"

That is my "at church" writing on that. I'd like to add that it is my belief that this life is a lot about learning balance and learning team work as well as Independence. If I were a sci-fi writer I might explain it like this: If you are one who experiences those spiritual highs it is possible that you have found a sort of gateway into another realm but it is a realm that our mortal bodies are not adapt to handle efficiently at this point in the human race.
There you go! No, I am not crazy!!!