So a few months ago (almost three) I wanted to start this blog in response to my brothers death. He "committed suicide" but who really knows what happened. Thing is at the time of the incident I did feel like I knew what happened and it did not shock me at all. All I can say is, I am glad I was on medication and I am glad that I am on even more now. Death sucks and it is hard. Mental illness sucks and it is hard. For some of us an intense longing for death is the most sure manifestation that there is a problem, but how do you tell someone "hey I really think life is good and interesting but what I'd really like try is death."
Yeah, it doesn't go over so well and for those that it does go over well with and you can actually talk about it openly with, it doesn't send the red flags that it should... and it may or may not always be present. So I think it's a horribly uncomfortable subject with a whole lot of cliches that, though they sound nice, do little for someone who genuinely longs for death... what a dreadful subject, but I tell you what, talking about it and exposing my own embarrassing flaws have saved me and others in more ways then we can know. I am alive after all.
And that is all I have to say for now.
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